NEVER stop asking a lot of questions

would be the advice I would give to my 20-year-old self.

I am going to explore this awesome question that I just heard today.  For about one minute as the other half was flipping through the channels, like he's warming up for that imaginary battlefield game he likes to play.  Flex those fingers and press those thumbs to the beat of your favorite song.  

SOURCE

What advice would you give your 20 year old self? 


I can grapple with myself 
as much as I'd like and that would be the thing that I would tell my 20YOS (abbreviation for 20 year old self), never stop asking a lot of questions.  It is part of the wisdom I can say that I have 30 odd years later.  The difference between good and great is the ability to ask insightful questions.   The other one is to believe in PEOPLE.   I'd like to share my own discovery that becomes a tidy parcel within wisdom.

The person who comes to mind?
I think of Barbara Walters.  I think most, if not all of the greats, emulated Barbara Walters who is the benchmark of interviewing PEOPLE everywhere.  Carve away the personas, politicians, musicians, artists, directors, entrepreneurs, athletes and we all end up the same:  we're PEOPLE.  All of us.  Shed the religion, color, race, country, city, rural, occupations, preoccupations, interests, bias, knowledge, truths, sovereignty.  You.  One of the PEOPLE.  No better than the next, exactly the same.

SOURCE

What makes us different, 
as in our DNA, is our characteristics that make up our personality which evolve by our traits.    What your traits are are steered by you based on the attention you may give it.  If you want to go into the gutter (PORN, RACISM, VIOLENCE) it is because you didn't keep that trait at bay, you continued to explore it, specify an interest level, and even perhaps it evolves into a really bad thing.  You are untrustworthy, not loyal, lean towards meanness, belittle, shuck others aside ... regardless of method.  

I would tell my 2YOS to stray away from those who want to drag you into a deep dark hole with them.  Don't feel sorry for them, as you may ought to do.  Don't even acknowledge them.  Not the slightest hook to snag your attention, however briefly.

These three traits I would suggest are worth considering honing in on:

• Ask a lot of questions, every time, every situation, every where.  Once you establish it firmly as part of the core of who you are, you will continue to expand and ask even greater questions.  Others may even be amazed at the quickness and sharpness to ask a question just as it is entering others' radar.  It blips, and then before processing, be the person who asks a question that captures what everyone could be barely registering, never mind thinking.  It can return at a later time.  Removed from the message other than it appearing like a puff of smoke:  that was a great question because it required an answer that was more in depth and detailed.
• Secondly, be aware of people.  Be open to new people, different people, in different situations, different backgrounds (whether economic, intellect or standing).  Find a way out of the aversion to odor, or behavior that is distracting, so as to be able to hear them.    I could have more easily suggested to pay closer attention or just simply listen but I didn't.  To make a point.  
• Be your own person or personality.  Stick to your values, don't let anyone intimidate you, bully you, make you feel inferior in any way.  Gender is even stripped away so that you can be the person from the inside out.  Starting on the inside first.  Completing the outside is the easy part.  Understand your style or karma or aura you exude.  Don't try to hold back or allow others to censor you.  Any person [ whether friend, family, employer or place ] who wants to encourage you will not make you feel like you should hold back nor be told to be quiet [ whether written or vocal ].  

Don't let anyone try to squash that personality and enthusiasm for the continuous journey you are on.  

You won't be able to sell anything.  Your company, your case, your qualifications, your institution, your cause, your view, your anything will not be able to sell anything unless you can learn how to ask the right questions.

For example.  You are the CEO of your company and you are rubbing elbows with your colleagues and staff while selling your company's product or service.  It is pretty hard not to.  Especially since you probably got the job based on your charisma, leadership essence, confidence, vision.  

I wrote a while ago ..... I'll have to look it back up and link it here ] INSERT LINK [ ... about not working IN the business but work ON the business if you are its OWNER< CEO<PRESIDENT.  Well it is not exclusive, but the point is for anyone who has to sell anything.

If you are a sales representative >> you NEED to work on YOUR business!

What is that business?  We'll get to that later on.

In order to sell anything to anyone, you have to be able to ask great questions.  Those great questions will catapult you at the center of the PERSON [ views, criteria, influence, bias, desires, needs, headaches ].  By understanding the PERSON in front of you:  your parent as you ask for an increase in the university fund;  the sales rep who is asking his potential customer for the order; the CEO who is asking the Board for something to be approved.

If you've asked the right questions, it will magically be staring right at you.  The OASIS of sold!   When you can formulate, practice, evaluate a series of questions to ask that first important first impression meeting, to ask of your audience, hopefully of one as it is far easier.  [ You may need to assess why you are meeting in front of a group ... that's a red flag.  It usually means that the audience doesn't have enough confidence in themselves or have become so rigid that they've lost the ability of sensing instinct, gut feeling, seeing expression.

Five Questions?

Come up with a list of five questions that you want to ask your next prospect [remember, that prospect does not have to be a SALES call or situation].  Then, make it a practice to have five questions written down before any sit down for a meeting, a review, an interview, a report, a presentation.  Spend 10 minutes looking through the web page [ I realize that I should write about that now:  how to review a company's website and grasp their culture, their vibe, their engagement with visitors ] so that you can come up with five questions.

An INVESTOR

Think of yourself as an investor.  Yes, that sounds backwards when you think that you don't have the money to buy even "a share" in this company, just ignore that and transcend yourself.  Ask yourself:  "would you buy shares in this company?".

If you are attuned to selling to people, you will want to invest in them just as much as they will want to purchase or give you whatever it is you are asking for.   That is called evening the playing field.  Remember what I said before?  PEOPLE are the same except for how they BUY things.  

BUY THINGS

can be just the same as buying into things.  Do you buy into this opinion or that show or that writing or philosophy?  See, we are all BUYERS and there are sparks that initiate the action to buy.  

If you are not attuned to PEOPLE you won't get as far.  You will have to meet more and more and more PEOPLE to get into your zone.  Then again, as you meet more and more PEOPLE in whatever situation FIVE QUESTIONS imagine what will unfold.  

If you like to cut corners, you probably didn't even last to the finish of this post.  Unless it benefits you immediately [ can you copy, plagiarize or imitate this?] you are long gone.  Those are probably the less honest type of sales anyhow and they won't jive with my philosophy derived from my traits.

DISCIPLINE

is a trait or characteristic.  Which does it mean is which.  It is both an adverb I think and a verb in English, as in a thing or noun rather than an action.

In order to have a DISCIPLINEd PERSONality, you will have had to hone your traits to come up with the right ingredients for your own unique PERSON.  I am wondering somewhat if I have ADD or attention deficit disorder.  Someone with a psychological background I was [here it is again] asking more insightful questions asked me if that were a possibility.    Not as an assessment, nothing like that, simply generated from a conversation.  

Examine your own traits.  What are your leanings?  What gains your interest quicker than others?  Explore the maybe and the why.  

   

The 7 year itch

Alas, it has been seven years
 since I began blogging.  It has been a learning curve of the creative, expressive kind.  That's okay since I'm a self-described "knowledge junkie".

I've had fans and cheerleaders, supporters and mentors to which I owe a lot.  They are patient with me.  Some read faithfully.  I know because although I rarely have comments, the readership spikes show on the stats.  

346,000 page views over 7 years
doesn't seem like that many when you consider the many blogs that exceed that in a day.  I will take what I can and I appreciate every single view counted.  I like to check what posts gain the most traction and it seems that when I blog about sales or business there is the most attraction.  You can see which ones are popular because I leverage the tools that Google's Blogspot affords me:  on sales.

It seems cool on the one hand that one of my blogs has gained a nice following.  Rewarding to see how others it resonates with.  In all cases, I write from experience to help others navigate the waters on sales and then some on social media.

In neither case do I propose that I am an expert.  For hardly can anyone acclaim expertise and shout it from the rooftop of posts, shares, retweets in order for it to become so.  Nor is my name noted on any list of experts on any one topic.  

If you look at the average person starting out on social media or blogging, it seems a daunting task to attract a few followers, never mind thousands.  I appreciate every single one.  Sincerely.  Heartfelt.

One reader or one page view is a celebration in itself.  If they return, then a happy dance should be done.  If I've helped one person think differently about sales, leadership or social media and improve results, then mission accomplished.

Depending on the perspective of who you are, you extrapolate opinion on the writer or the message.  Even if you don't have a compelling temptation to comment, if it crosses your sphere in a way that you want to share it, then that is a gift.

One of the things that I have done over the past seven years is continuously try new things, experiment, stretch my imagination or be inspired to share more.  

However, I don't have the luxury of writing or being a social media person online as a means of earning a living.  But it makes living worthwhile when what you write does help someone else gain a new perspective or try things a little differently.

I suppose on the one hand, I scaled back on writing about sales because I'm not actively working in the sales field.  Then I remind myself that social media is all about selling yourself,  every time, every click, every post.    Selling one's self is far more challenging than selling for an organization, a service, or a product.  Increased activity can smooth over gaps and improve results.  Unfortunately, I haven't always applied that theory to my own blogging.

I allowed myself to become scattered, or scatter what I write about under different umbrellas.  I've even gone so far as to create a website www.graFX.online which hardly appeases me since it isn't the finished product I foresee nor the resource I've imagined.

Sometimes it is far more difficult to examine one's own short-comings than it is to opine about someone else.  In the world of social media, having an opinion is a common ground that is either shared or ignored.

I've supported some pretty cool ventures by those whom I've connected virtually with over the years.  I've cheered on some great initiatives by others that seem to springboard them to success.  Not because of me.  Perhaps a few ideas percolated after our interactions, or new adventures sprung from sprinkled ideas, conversations, reading.  I'm amazed and proud of some of the great things that have happened to some pretty amazing people.  Not because of me, that is for sure.  Yet by our association, I lent witness to their climb to successfully reaching a pinnacle of their own doing.

I do hope that some of it has rubbed off on me.  Learning from others who try new things or stay on track, on message, while trying different approaches.

I scaled back on writing about sales most likely because I couldn't define the road I was on or where I wanted it to take me.  I couldn't see myself being where I've sat in the audience myself before, listening to a key note address at a conference, sales celebration, or networking event.  

Ironically, I could probably do it.  After all, I spent 10 years learning the trade of public speaking, testing myself, stretching my comfort zone.  

Maybe I haven't believed in myself enough, even though on paper denoting awards and recognition, the proof has been there.  I've chalked it up to not being pretty enough, or young enough to take a step in that direction.

Maybe I've expected a golden glow of a halo to surround me in a way that would attract the right person or company who would see some gift or talent that could be maximized, nurtured or expanded.  

Certainly, many women, particularly, freeze at attracting too much attention or wonder if any attention is a good thing.   

Being a wife, mother doesn't always springboard someone to traveling around the world and creating an identity that compels others to invite you to speak, teach or train others, or even give advice to help others travel the road less traveled.  

I for one can tell you that nothing happens over night.  I can almost take a step back and objectively ponder some of the better habits I formed in order to do well in sales.

I can safely say that I got turned off creating any label to myself that glimpse what I see others projects.  I see people who never had to cold call, set up seminars and talks on cold calling.  

The definitions in sales are sometimes subjective, often ambiguous and selective by those adopting best practices or paying to hear or read what someone else professes to be the holy grail in magically being able to transform their lives by becoming a sales superstar.

From my standpoint, the ones who become the best sales keynote speakers, are the best at selling themselves, not necessarily at sales.  Sure, you have to have a story to tell that sells others to think that mere moments with them will shed light on bypassing any self-limiting dialogue with themselves to becoming so confident in the story telling and the charisma to tell a story, transcends the optics of the claims being made.

I've seen someone whom I recruited into Toastmasters become a well spoken conveyor of sales wisdom.  A sticky name or created catch-phrase claimed as a new, amazing way to catapult past so many others if they just follow their path.  That person is able to sell themselves, put action to vision that so many others cannot.

I've seen someone else who really was placed in a plum assignment in sales, not by pure sales stamina or savvy, but by shear personality, cuteness, booming laughter, or a number of many characteristics we were attracted to on the elementary recess playground or the cool high school crowd.  Not necessarily, were they that then, they clearly climbed from the chaos of learning to the maturity of believing in themselves.

I've had some pretty amazing supporters and mentors in my 30 some years of working.  I can name drop some recognized people with skillful talent.  I've ridden on their coat tails or participated on the sidelines to cheer them on.

Sadly, most people find a lot of different sponsors, supporters as they climb the ladder.  More often, they then shed the ones from the bottom rung.  Being one of the left behinds is sometimes hurtful, unless you're the one who put the distance there yourself, whether by actions or decision.

Belief in one's self is a hard thing to do.  Most people take a lot of knocks.  The very best have more than most, can dust themselves off, learn from it, and move on to the next step.

One step forward, two steps back
is not always a bad thing.  The distance in the step forward can usually amount to a greater achievement than the two steps back.

We learn from our mistakes
or our mistakes burn us.  Out.  Pulling one's self out of the ashes of disappointment is no easy feat.  

Humility and humbleness
do not go hand in hand with confidence in a society based on the thermometer of wealth or acclaim.  People tend to want to hitch a ride on the rising star.  They are quick to jump ship as they smell pending failure.   Others prefer to disassociate themselves with anyone that may hold them back or slow them down.

Often perceived success
outweighs value.   Value is determined by philosophy and beliefs, often aligned by economic fruits.  

What can you do for me
seems to be more important than what can I do for you.  If you can give your time, your support, your skills, does not protect you from falling to the wayside to others that can provide value by means of boosting an ego or forking over money.

There are a number of things I've learned from these seven years on social media and writing about sales that carry the identical message:  you can't cut corners, there are no shortcuts, and quality takes time.

In sales as in life
you usually have to depend on your own stamina, ability to stay motivated, focused, and inspire yourself with the right messages.  

Nobody else will dust you off
or kick you in the pants to keep you moving forward.  Who you surround yourself with communicates a lot about how you see yourself as a person.  

These days I see myself lucky to have some fairly amazing people around me.  Some are family, some are friends, while others are almost strangers if it weren't a connection in a virtual world.

Perseverance, belief, continuing on
is only something you, yourself, can do.  Others can help with their support, their words, their cheer.  People have a tendency to evacuate when they see a storm on the horizon.  No less when you stop believing in yourself.

People like to cheer on winners
and stay clear of defeatist attitudes.  Sometimes low morals, low morality, unfolds and doesn't seem to inhibit the message or discredit the messenger.  

Accountability resides in your own head space
with reminders close by on which road you travel.  I've chosen to mostly travel with integrity, honesty and consistency.

That is why I was able to sell and achieve results.  Not by snazzy language or schemes to move around the basics.  Yes, I still see lots of that going on, outside of my control.  I have to be thankful that at least I have learned enough to identify such trespasses.  It isn't for me to identify or cry out when corners are cut or untruths help others to go farther.

I should at least have the wisdom to know that those who get by on lies or dishonesty, eventually get caught on to or caught up with.  It is a short and quick path.  Not usually long serving or life long.

I will continue to write and continue to experiment.  I will endeavor to be honest and to help others without any credit on my contribution.  That becomes frustrating and usually unrealized.    Regardless, I will continue to be proud of the ones I've helped along the way, and ignore whether I'm thanked or not.  That is part of growing and growing up.  Being accountable for one's own actions over preference to being recognized as a positive conduit that others have learned from.  

Eventually, the right results will speak for themselves.  As in sales, I did find out.  By working hard and keeping a mirror close for my own self-examination, rather than allowing others to diffuse my abilities in order to make themselves be better known, better recognized or considered more successful.  

I have to believe in what I am capable of and not allow what others may have done to me, deviously or innocently, to try to knock me down.

Some bounce back stronger than others.  Others are knocked a few more times than most.  Maintaining a fine balance of optimism, convictions, ethics is a far steeper path to follow.  Yet it can be far more rewarding.

Environment politics vision

Two opposing forces
Perhaps it is politicians out of touch with what the people want?  I am starting to think that the difference between good or mediocre politicians and great leaders is their intuitive touch with their public and constituents.

Trump and Obama
Are two complete opposites with some common ground that nobody could disagree with:

• love of family
• love of country
• integrity of words
• charisma
• showmanship
• leadership
• commitment to commitments

Yet two areas they are on opposing views as the north is to the south, east to the west, on their vision for North America.

Whereas Obama's dedication to the environment may be his greatest legacy.  He also had commitment to the safety of people.  Recognizing through his real life experience, that anyone, regardless of genetics, history, paternity, color, race or beliefs, can grow and learn.  Stretch and reach his goals of leading what was once the most powerful nation in the world, to grab the baton of legends like Roosevelt, Kennedy, Lincoln or Washington were born.  Men of courage facing almost insurmountable odds, are reveled by history to which today's children and generations before or after to be learned from.

The commonality among the weakest links are not any less embarrassing for its citizens when it hits them hard, in their pride, love of country, and tenacity to carry on, despite everything.  Those are things that resonate with me when I think of the United States of America.

I wrote about them imploding back a few years ago.  I didn't really comment editorial on goings on in the world, but I have a few times.  Prophecy or deep understanding with perception on how to bundle the facts into predictions or road being traveled.  

My husband and I had this very hearty debate not twenty minutes ago.  These really cool discussions burst out of the folds of our daily living where one of us makes a comment on the state of the world based on current events.   In those brief five minutes, we nourished each out and boosted our viewpoints because we could defend our point of view in the safety of our appreciation and respect for each other.

Similarly, both Trump and Obama

clearly demonstrate love and devotion to their families, their wives, their children, their friends. Certainly how they differ on how conjoined the two are between family and office. What is a more obvious distinction is how it is made up.

Obama's love of wife and daughters 

is crystal clear.  His vision and direction were defined by leaving the world a better place for his daughters and the world.  He went after safety with his heart on his sleeve.  You cannot doubt his deep reflection on the devastation guns have self-inflicted among their midst.  Such a contrary to the view that the world perceives them to have:

That they are the world referee, where countries like Canada and England mere peacekeepers when violence erupts.  Upholding the rights of humanity and defending basic human rights by giving out riches in the form of monetary relief, protection, feeding the poor and saving the health of others before themselves.

"Your positiveness is like a beacon toward others, inspiring optimism and faith."

 ~ Jeannette Marshall 

That is another distinct difference between Trump and Obama.  Their approaches are so different.  Obama's legendary empathy was trying to remove nuclear threat in areas that are war torn, corrupt or falling apart.  Obama zeroed in on the most foreseeable threats, and I'm guessing here .....

• The greatest singular figure posing a threat to the United States, North America and the UN was Bin laden.  As Bin Laden faded into the background, martyrdom growing as his survival held on.  Leading the fearful example that you can get away with murder and be acclaimed and praised for it.  The need to snuff it out clear.
• Corruption in the financial nucleus of American financiers was rampant.  Made worse by his powerless capability to inflict any change.  Handcuffed by the political system 

Critical attention 

on the environment versus it being a hoax seems apparent differences between Trump and Obama.  Completely opposing views.  The American citizens clearly confused between who is right, who is wrong, or is anybody right?

Health of the country views

communicated at odds.  Where one says that if you believe, you can accomplish and the other says the country is at the brink of disruption.

Health is a necessity

they both agree.  The journey or road map differing completely.  Causing instability and fear to the ill and the elderly and the poor.  Faith in its country ever brightly filled with optimism that the democracy alone can alleviate their concerns.

Self-destructive causes

appear differently in each others' eyes.  One sees the right to everyone to belong while the other sees it as being a privilege and not a right to live among the community it seeks to destruct.

Our home and native land

even has uncertainty clouding our core.  The questions one must ask is whether we are on a road of redemption and worthiness?  

Is the direction of our politics

in our eyes the vision we want for our future and children?   If it isn't, are we facing the right direction and making the changes needed to survive and flourish?

What comes first? Safety security air?

Is the debate we hear resonating among everyone:  the politicians, the media, our own voices.  What is our greatest risk immediately is what panic makes us ponder.  Our pocket books, our safety, or ability to breath for generations, not merely years to come?

There lies the difference

Who can make the strongest case in what should be the main focus today will be the winner.  If the lowly citizen is left to deal with the consequences, will it spell optimism, inspiration, activation and execution.

Promise made, promised delivered

Execution is being able to deliver on promises shaped by plans and steps taken.  When the promises are glowing brightly like a beacon as a lighthouse is for lost ships.