Selling BULL**** and whoppers

"With integrity you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide.  With integrity, you will do the right thing, so you have no guilt."                                                                              ~Zig Ziglar
Hi former Sales Manager
You must be REALLY important to me because news landed center page, not just a corner in the top right hand side of my Linked In page!
Well, you are, damn it (ah, excuse me, darn it). Who saw this young blonde bimbette actually packed a solid punch on delivering what she said she would (or make up for times you said "we would" in front of my biggest, happiest clients).

Yeah, those times, you impersonated Bill Gates, your hero and go from zero to instant vision faster than I can hit SEND button on my Smartphone (Apple and Samsung are fighting over name placement on this article so you may see some editing happening later on).
Come to think of it ... who REALLY taught me the art of telling BULL**** stories that knock prospects off their thrones not because of the whoppers, but because we had to figure out how to deliver on that bull**** that actually amounted into something.
Remember, teaching me about how to respond to RFPs? It went something like, let's go for a beer and talk. I may have not recorded anything but they left me a lasting impression. Yeah, those were the days, where you figured out how to really flip out the competitors by promising something so ludicrous that even they couldn't assemble enough talent in droves to try to make meet expectations that insurmountable you gave in your pinky finger.
So what's happening now? Have you forgotten you are Canadian!!! Or, are you trying to turn Calgary CANADA into the Seattle of the great Canadian northwest?  We could sure use an infusion of something other than our declining Canadian dollar. Not to mention, because we only whisper about it now in Calgary, or else we may get bitten by the disease called "FALLING OIL PRICES".
Well, listen to this ... if it ain't the most amazing yet amusing coincidence ........ my youngest daughter's diztziest friend is working at our biggest competitor from back in the day. If I had it confirmed years ago, what you already suspected, that our competitors would become so distracted battling those extreme promises they came up against from us, they all turned or were already pot heads.
Now I think about it. Drugs wasn't in our vocabulary nor did it invade our lives or workplaces. We were just beyond-kids-old-enough-to-have-them characters building the dream. Yeah, big commission cheques, awards, free travel and corporate celebrity status from the numbers posted. I think Canada really jumped out on the scoreboard and some of the regulars bumped their heads.
I don't want to get you too antsy when I have to tell you that that ditzy friend of my daughter's I was telling you about? Well, she went to a prominent institute (insert name upon payola) and, like me, learned from the best. Who you reckon? Well, BeanoCappicino, yeah you guessed it. Imagine that, Beano teaching our youth on the ways of the world. Amazing, profound way she has of touching people, pushing them, and making them remarkable contributors in our society.
No problemo, I am barely mentioning that they're only 20 years (OK, so almost 30) younger than us. They don't  have mountains to climb, lions to slay, and be on forefront of the internet curve.  They can Google or ask "Suri" anything deployed instantaneously.  I admire their confidence.
That reminds me of your "don't ask for permission, ask for forgiveness" rule of management? All because those memos from the Ivory Tower in overnight courier bags were going three cities daily. Little did anyone of us know that instead of having a pile of unopened envelopes, unfolded memos, piling up on your desk ... if people e-mailed you, they couldn't tell that you just hit DELETE without reading!  Yes, you were a rebellious visionary.  You have that in common with Steve Jobs, except with the shower and shoes.
I truly do wish you all the best in your new venture. Even if I wonder if the tales get taller or the tails get longer?

Well, if truth be told, you did teach me a lot.  Primarily, if you are going to promise bull**** you better be sure it can be delivered.  Admittedly, I felt safer under promising and over delivering.  Then again, you certainly pushed me outside my comfort zone to realize sometimes a little B.S. can catch a customer's attention!
Continued success,
"The supreme quality of leadership is unquestionably integrity.  Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office."                                                                                                         ~Dwight D. Eisenhower

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